


My Biggest Fan

by DefLeppardFan13



Category: NSP - Fandom, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom
Genre: Concert, F/M, Fandom, Fans, Feelings, Fluff, Freeform, Game Grumps - Freeform, Hate, Hugs, Love, Mentions of Sex, One Off, One Shot, Recent, Resolved, Skyhill - Freeform, TWRP, The Northern Hues - Freeform, Tour, Yelling, kiss, show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 18:38:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5101490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefLeppardFan13/pseuds/DefLeppardFan13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader has insecurities regarding her support for Dan's career</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Biggest Fan

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this admittedly feeling a little bummed, but I hope you enjoy. Is a little different than what I usually post, so just go easy on me lol

I sighed reading the tweets, updates, looking at the pictures, and watching the videos. Tonight something sparked a bad taste in my mouth as I yawned from the comfort of my apartment. It was another night of migraines, stuffed noses, and sleep deprivation. Work had taken its toll once again rendering me helpless and unable to attend something I should have been there for. He was so excited when he told me he was going to one of the two places he’s dreamed of. ‘Massey Hall’ was calling his name along with TWRP’s earlier this night.

I had slept from a strange timing of nine till about two AM, when my body decided to come back to life thinking I was well rested. Still being a bit groggy though, I sat up anyway to check out the ‘press’ on how he had done. So far it was a lot of support and happy fans getting their wishes granted as he posed with his charming smile. Brian as usual just did a signature glare meaning that he was even giving them a great moment as well.

It wasn’t long before my phone went off beside me, telling me that Brian just sent out the big ‘Thanks for Coming’ speech in one-hundred and forty characters or less. I slumps down in posture not even realizing that my mind was taking a turn a little deeper in to a couple emotions I knew wasn’t right at all to feel, but the fact that I couldn’t be there again was really eating at me.

The first show, that was in LA I had been sick for. My sinus infection swooped in to make sure I wasn’t able to do crap, and it was almost a call for kicking him out of my place due to wanting to stay ‘just five more minutes’ to take care of me. I remember faintly apologizing through the gross, snotty, haze that I was left in only to hear back a small chuckle and a ‘stop it, I know you’re there in spirit.’ It made me feel no better to hear it again when I had called him to inform him work killed me as well as my health making sure to turn that knife just a little more.

He had responded with a few ‘awwws’, and a sincere ‘I’m taking you with me next time either way.’ He was slowly making it a goal to at least have me in the same vicinity for nights he got to live out his dream. Not that I was ungrateful for the offer, but it was a matter of time before my support would seem faint compared to those whom made efforts far greater than I had. It was almost flaring up some rare insecurity in me that I wasn’t worthy of his personal time, if I couldn’t be there during his treasured moments.   
My lovely ringtone that I forgot I had turned up incase of work needing to contact me, pulled me out of my head and also allowed me to touch my ceiling. After fending off the heart attack, I answered to hear a familiar chipper voice on the other end.

“Hey you! How ya feelin’?” Dan asked curious about my uneventful, yet torturous evening. Even spent asleep coincidentally the hours almost exactly for the show, I still was left feeling like it wouldn’t had mattered if I had fought to stay up.

“Um, well, I feel like I haven’t slept, but got a chance to look at all the support you guys had tonight.” I tried to keep myself casual. I was scrolling though still as he gushed about it. I knew it would give him the window he needed to tell me all about it without me having to outright and ask.

“Oh man! It was totally fuckin’ amazing! I wish you didn’t feel like shit and could’ve been there! The acoustics were just as I imagined, the crowd was fantastic, was super-hyped! I think we got a chance to talk to most of who came as well. My god I’m so flattered by all the nice people that came out, hun. Seriously, it was a night to remember!” Dan let it fly. 

He was so wrapped up in his moment that it was almost putting a smile on my face. Though the last part of it being ‘a night to remember’ selfishly stuck in my head that I had missed it truly. Even if he was sharing the experience knowing I couldn’t have been there, I couldn’t stop myself from feeling worse and almost escaping into my head barely hearing passed my pity party I was beginning to throw.

“Okay, did I lose ya? Hellooo?” Dan was calling me back to Earth and I felt myself physically shake my head before pressing my palm to it as I answered him.

“S-sorry, was…distracted for a sec, but I’m here!” I reigned back in my slipping tone, but still cringed hearing him sigh like he knew.

“Ya know, I’ve told you, I have no issues wearing the outfit for you, it’s just hard to get off, and I can’t ruin it, so I mean we’d have to go slow and it’s just a hassle!” Dan was implying our ongoing insider that I was one night going to request he wears his Danny Sexbang costume for me. We had never been too serious seeing he did make it a point to remind me that it was going to have to be a mandatory stripping session in order for things to pan out smoothly. 

I gave him a small laugh shaking my head imagining how ridiculous it was that he’d still bring it up from time to time. “I’m not sure you’re just joking about doing that anymore!” I called him out trying to bring myself back up in mood. Dan I heard snort before he responded.

“Well my dear, THAT is for me to know, and you to eventually find out! Not every day I get to show off what I learned in that pole dancing class!” Dan teased but was chuckling sounding amused with himself. I rolled my eyes smiling until a post crossed my path. In the caption were quotes of Dan complimenting them on how much they supported him and Brian. It was a slap in the face again seeing the terms ‘super-fan’, being used. I couldn’t stop the sad sigh that escaped knowing he’d be quick to pick up on it. Sure enough, Dan got quiet and I knew it was comin’. “What’s wrong?” he more so demanded rather than asked nicely. I didn’t want to answer him, but knew the pause would further his concern.

“I um, I just, was noticing how many people really support you upfront. Like one waited on you guys for a long ass time it seems.” I tried not to let my voice go down to a mumble, but knew it was working on it by the end of my examination. 

“Oh yeah! There were a few who like totally stuck it out in the rain and shit, was very touching!” Dan mused not hearing my hints. I nodded slowly even if he couldn’t see understanding that I was petty to have not gone with him and been there tonight.

“Wow, that’s commitment right there, huh?” I rolled my eyes knowing I was bullshitting him on how cool I was with this. It was a dumb personal matter to me, but I just couldn’t shake it. It was wrong to feel such ways, but the envy and insecurity was eating me alive.

“Yeah no kiddin’! One of like the best compliments I could receive!” Dan went on about it as I clicked each picture further down. He was excited in them all, and even a few taking multiples with different faces. I sighed again, but not catching it until the silence of him listening closely caught me off guard. “I heard that, you’re not telling me something.” Dan’s tone was instantly back to matters at hand. He was like an elephant when it came to people he cared about. He never forgot the tiniest glitches they had when something was bothering them.

“Dan, I’m f-“ I was going to flat out lie, not wanting to ruin his night. I heard the scoff and could picture him waving my fib off shaking his head.

“Don’t even try it. You have sighed twice now, tried to stall, and now gonna lie to me? You do know who you’re talking to correct? Cause last time I checked, I wasn’t just some jackass who didn’t pay attention to the signs. Now again, tell me what’s wrong.” Dan said nothing more after he command. He was giving me the floor completely and I looked down staring at my lap then into nothing trying to find my voice. 

“I don’t want to ruin your night.” I mumbled into the mic. I heard nothing back and knew Dan was rolling his eyes waiting for me to let that crap go. Nothing was going to work unless I just rudely hung up on him. I sighed out again feeling the pressure, but knew he wouldn’t be this persistent if he didn’t care. “Okay fine!” I gave up. I let my emotions through and it was a tidal wave of disaster.

“Fine what?” Dan sternly asked prompting me. 

“Fine! As in maybe I’m hurt okay? Maybe it’s hurting me to see that this ‘night to remember’ was one I AGAIN could not be there for! I was stuck, AGAIN, sick! Not even truly sick, just a stupid migraine and no sleep. You’ve done like tons more on more and still kept going! Yet here I sit, like the weak, petty, selfish, person I am whining about shit while everyone else is able to just out and support you! I couldn’t be there, and I should have been there, but I chose such a bullshit few reasons and stayed home! I don’t even care if I couldn’t be honest with my caption because of ‘things’ and shit! I should be on here, with you, on YOUR big night, supporting YOU, being where I should have been. Not HOME, feeling sorry for myself! I hate this! I hate it! I hate that you even bother with me still for how much I miss of your dreams coming true! I can’t be there cause of work, or-or because my whole being shuts down, and yet you still share with me this! Why Dan!? Why bother?! I’m not out there, being your ‘Biggest Fan’ like you’ve called me! I’ve literally done opposite of that! I don’t even have a shirt to my name because of whatever reason! I suck at this Dan! I suck at us! I suck at being there, obviously! Why are you even still listening to me! I’m pathetic! Just UGH!” I ranted, raved, vented, I let it out. By the end of it was in tears sniffling away trying to not let him hear it. There was silence on the other end for a moment before Dan cleared his throat.

“You aren’t pathetic,” he started softly, “you aren’t selfish either. You work a different job than I do and have been less desensitized to push through that sort of thing. You physically being around and in pictures is not going to determine where you are with me. That isn’t how that works, alright? I place you as my biggest fan, more in a sense that is almost ironic. You’re cheering me on when the music stops even. You’re there for me as my audience and support when I’m totally not performing like I could be. When I call you my ‘biggest fan’ it is going above and beyond a fuckin’ Instagram photo and a lame caption or tweet or whatever. It is so much more than that, you are so much more to me than those things. By far you will always be! Not once tonight did I feel like you weren’t doing your job or whatever or were being petty. I honestly spent it locked in my head missing you, because you in fact also DO NOT suck at ‘us.’ You rock the fuck out of ‘us,’ and if you look closer into those photo’s I look like I’m forcing it. I do the best I can to not let my emotions of our personal business show, and you can tell there is something going on with me. The deeper expression is me missing you, wishing I could have been the one who didn’t go, but instead was curled up with you taking care of your quote unquote, ‘stupid migraine’ and lack of sleep. Please stop blaming yourself okay? I promise, like I said, next time, even if I have to lock you in a hotel room, you’re going. I will gladly come back from a show, and be willing to snuggle with you. Tonight was one to remember yes, but I’ll always be thinking as well it was a night to remember that I couldn’t share with you. AND BEFORE YOU EVEN SAY A GODDAMN WORD, it is not your fault. Lemme repeat that shit. It. Is not. Your. Fucking. Fault. Shit happens! So please for the love of God take back all of this nonsense, and totally let yourself relax. Dry those gorgeous eyes before I have to for you, cause I can hear you crying. Everything is alright, I promise babe.” Dan swallowed over the phone after making things clear.

“I-I-I just, I can’t- I can’t do this! I’m sorry! I feel like shit! I’m an asshole Dan! Look at it! I’m all the way back home, and you’re in fucking Canada, and I chose to just throw a pity party I didn’t need you crashing okay! God just, tell me good night and let me go! I’ll fucking be fine tomorrow, until the next show comes around and I can’t make it to that either! It’s gonna get old Daniel!” I sobbed into the phone harder feeling myself breaking apart. Dan didn’t need to justify me like that. He didn’t need to hear the bullshit I let build up, and he didn’t need to hear me doing this anymore than he already had. There was an exasperated sigh followed by a loud noise over the phone.

“Open the door.” Dan said sternly. I scowled into the darkness that was my couch and blanket. I had slammed the laptop shut during the ranting. 

“What the fuck, why?!” I snapped at him not wanting to play the game of looking at the moon while he did bullshit cause that’d bring us closer or whatever.

“Open, the fucking, door.” Dan repeated himself getting more annoyed. I glared at it knowing he was going to do something stupid. When I did.

“Dan I don’t have time to play-“ I went to say until I heard raging not from the phone.

“JUST FUCKING OPEN THE DOOR! CHRIST!” Dan’s voice was loud, but still muffled from the same direction I was last looking in. I slowly set my phone down not bothering to dry my eyes as I cautiously slid off my couch. I took the few paces across the room before placing my hand on the lock and knob turning them simultaneously. When I let it swing open from its own weight there stood a tall shadow that quickly gave me no further option to take in except the nanoseconds that followed my discovery.

Hands slapped against my wet cheeks, a force pushing me backwards that was from a pair of warm lips and rushing body, had me slammed against the small closet with zero effort. Another slam startled me seeing the door being kicked shut, but my attention was brought back to whom was my intruder. He was drying my tears, molding his lips with mine, exploring my mouth, and all I could do was grasp on desperately to the grey hoodie underneath the leather jacket. I pulled him closer kissing him back, feeling it become needier, with a long time coming, even if it had only been a night alone. His lips pressed harder once he felt my response while letting his voice vibrate between us in satisfied hums. I felt my own higher-pitched noises be my replies as I fisted the cotton fabric on his back. 

He pressed more against me biting my lip again for access, taking his window after a loud inhale through our noises echoed the room. I let him sooth my mind using his tongue, dry my eyes using his gentle hands, and distract me from arguing all this more with the force that was Dan Avidan. It would be his way to decide to come back, being the caring man he was, to come take care of me. The call I realized once he pulled back to look me over, was premeditated. He was already on his way to me as soon as he could, and I wanted to take no bets that my emotional fit was motivation for him to double time it. I was staring up at him through all of this pondering watching him catch his breath like I had been as well before he kissed me again with less force, and more of a conclusion with a hint of promise. When he pulled back once more, he dropped his hands to reel me into him by my waist. My head fell to his chest, my arms pressing him even closer to me, while I felt him rest his cheek on top of my hair. 

I shuddered in his embrace warming further from the affection that was less aggressive to make a point, but was now more gentle to calm me further. I did take note as the less sad, yet more relieving sigh fell from my lips. I felt his cheek replace itself with a kiss to my head reassuring me the point he was trying to make the entire time. I eventually was looking back into his big brown eyes trying to find the smile I was supposed to be giving him by this point.

“You’re supposed to be in Canada.” Was all I could muster up. Dan’s soft chuckle as he shook his head reddened my cheeks. It was his less taunting way to tell me I was being naïve. 

“Well,” Dan casually shrugged letting himself hold his left shoulder up a little longer as in ‘oh well’, “looks like I’m not.” He smiled warmly. I shook my head slowly not letting myself believe the reason that was apparent.

“No, you’re obviously not, but why?” I asked scowling. He reached up with his left hand to gently stoke my cheek. He continued shaking his head almost telling me through is expression ‘I should know why.’

“Because,” he paused for a moment keeping his tone casual with the first word, “I missed my Biggest Fan.” Dan’s smile went a little crooked watching my reaction. I blushed, but felt my features fall at the same time. I looked down unsure why he just didn’t let the title go.

“Well, I tried to tell you, and you now have come to the wrong house. Your ‘biggest fan’,” I nodded to the door, “is somewhere out there. Not here. Someone who can make it to shows and shit with no second thought of sacrifice.” I looked back up noticing him swallow and that his head was tilted a little while he listened to me sound foolish. He brushed a bit of hair behind my ear as he spoke.

“Ya know what,” he made a face that squinted his eyes a little while rocking back on his heels, “you don’t get to determine that title I think.” Dan lifted my chin with his long finger making me focus on him. His cocky attitude was in his features and I almost cracked a smirk. 

“Well, let’s be real clear, from my lack of existence in your dream-turned-real success, it’s not me.” I blinked at him pressing my lips into a hard line. Dan scowled blinking back at me then cocked an eyebrow.

“Fine, I’ll pick a better fuckin’ reason, you wanna be this way!” Dan nodded at me as he spoke. I felt my aggravation with him returning. My arms had folded themselves across my chest and my posture slightly leaned away from him.

“And what could that other reason be? What could bring you back here, to someone whom is just basically a great shoulder to cry on and a good listener? Oh! Let’s not forget the casual fucking.” I pointed out the obvious. Dan’s eyes widened in surprise over my sudden blunt outburst.

“I don’t believe I ever said anything CLOSE to this?” Dan turned his head slightly folding his own arms. 

“It’s summarizing your whole spiel to make me feel better.” I rolled my eyes shaking my head. Dan nodded his own slowly before he scoffed with an incredulous smile as he glanced to his left.

“Oh right, right, cause I didn’t mean it, it was just to totally hold you over so I could come sleep with you without the terrible idea that I’d actually have to look like I care about you, deeply, if that!” Dan’s sarcasm almost hurt. He was letting me hear what the response I was secretly not wishing for, but expected to hear sounded like.

“Well! Why else! You’ve had a great show, why not top off the night with a dramatic return and a good sesh? God I just realized! I’m not your ‘biggest fan’! I’m your groupie! Your own personal groupie that just happens to listen intently.” I knew it was wrong, I knew I was being an idiot, but my stubborn end just had to push him further. He was either going to walk out or scream at me how I was wrong THEN walk out. Either way from the look on his face he was regretting this surprise.

“Is that what you believe? Seriously? Because my other reason to come back was totally better than a blowjob and Storytime, thank you!” Dan’s hands firmly placed themselves in his bony hips. He sighed exasperated, and shook his head while looking down for a second. 

“It’s obvious Dan! I mean come on! You have a career ahead of you! Why in the hell would you drag someone, me especially with all the bullshit I come with, into a relationship! You have it made! You have the cake and are eating it too with no threat of a stomach ache!” I pointed it out further watching his eyes change when they gazed up at me. He blinked a couple times letting his jaw relax and his lips slightly part. It was silence of us just staring at the other for a moment.

“Because you-“ Dan was about to say something in a quiet tone and I finally had had enough messing with this.

“BECAUSE I WHAT DAN!? BECAUSE I’M YOUR ‘BIGGEST FAN’?!” I circled back around losing my temper.

“YES! AND BECAUSE I-“ Dan shouted back at me stepping closer. His voice boomed through the small apartment.

“HOW!?” I snapped back demanding answers that were in front of my face but I was refusing to look.

“CAUSE YOU’RE FUCKING ALWAYS THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEED YOU, YOU’RE THE MOST DEPENDABLE PERSON I CAN COUNT ON!” Dan screamed back holding his chest. 

“SO GLAD I CAN CONVENIENTLY BE YOUR PERSONAL CHIMNEY SWEEP!” I yelled throwing my arms up.

“IT’S MORE THAN THAT! IF YOU WEREN’T SO CAUGHT UP IN PUTTING YOURSELF DOWN YOU COULD SEE IT!” Dan’s voice was raising in pitch as he almost sounded like he was begging for something.

“SEE WHAT DANIEL!? SEE THAT I’M EASY FOR YOU?!” I shrieked feeling tears streaming down my face. Dan took a step closer still shouting over me.

“NO!! FUCKING CHRIST! YOU WOULD SEE HOW-“ Dan tried to get it out but my rage was at it’s peak.

“HOW WHAT?!” I cried out.

“HOW MUCH I NEED YOU WOMAN! HOW MUCH I AM DESPERATELY, AND PAINFULLY, IN FUCKING LOVE WITH YOU! HOW AMAZINGLY, WILLINGLY, AND BADLY I WANT YOU TO FUCKING SEE IT! YOU. ARE. MY. BIGGEST. FAN! BUT WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU’VE NEVER CONSIDERED EVEN NOTICING, IS I HAVE BEEN YOURS! EVER SINCE I FUCKING GOT TO KNOW YOU, EVER SINCE THE FIRST NIGHT WE MADE LOVE! AND DON’T EVEN TRY TO TELL ME SOME BULLSHIT THAT YOU DIDN’T NOTICE IT EITHER! BECAUSE I DID! YES, I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU, I AM STUPIDLY IN LOVE WITH YOU, AND I DON’T EVEN GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE! AFTER HOW MUCH I MISSED YOU TONIGHT I COULDN’T WAIT ANOTHER SECOND WITHOUT COMING BACK TO TELL YOU BEFORE IT WAS TOO LATE. SO YES. That is my other reason. Because I love you.” Dan’s voice rose, his finger stabbed at me a couple times, his body had backed me into the closet door again as he stalked closer the more intense he got. When he dropped it down at the end, it was a soft, defeated, tone. His hands were on either side of my head bracing himself against the door practically towering over me. 

I, on the other hand, was wide-eyed, speechless, and no longer crying, but felt tears freely keep leaking from my eyes. I was panting in time with him, feeling my heart race from hearing him having to scream at me the complete and utter obvious. I had opened my eyes to it, just needing to hear him say it before I believed blindly. I wildly roamed with my eyes over his intense stare watching him give me a moment to take it all in. When I didn’t move, feeling myself still frozen, Dan slid his hands down the door to gently hold my face in his warmed hands. His thumbs again dried my tears and I watched him ease up his gaze then lean to press his lips to my forehead. The action made my eyes flutter shut and I took an initial calming breath. 

“I love you too…” I barely whispered. Dan pulled me into another embrace this time kissing my lips softly but holding them against mine a little longer. I felt myself press a little to push the kiss a little further feeling us sway a little taking our time with this. It wasn’t new, but felt like so now that it had been brought into the light. Eventually we did pull back to gaze into the other’s eyes slowly smiling while also syncing up with calming breaths. Dan rubbed my back for a moment before kissing my forehead again but leaving his lips to ghost above it.

“I’m sorry I yelled, are you okay?” he whispered to me. I inhaled slowly but nodded shortly after.

“Yeah, I am. I’m sorry too…” I breathed out then feeling him hold my hips still rocking us slowly where we stood.

“Why baby?” Dan asked watching me meet his eyes. His voice was a hushed tone but laced with genuine wonder.

“Because you’re right, about it all. I couldn’t tell until you threw it in my face that, yes, you indeed are MY biggest fan.” I smiled trying not to choke up over it. Dan nodded slowly smiling a little wider.

“Um, hello?” Dan nudged me then tapped his own chest, “You’re forgetting the other part to this whole mess!” he teased. 

“What? I still stand on the fact I don’t deserve that title.” I shrugged shaking my head. Dan rolled his eyes chewing on the inside of his cheek for a moment. In the next, I felt his hands tighten then lift me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist confused but holding on. Dan turned carrying me towards my room without a word for a moment. “Dan?” I asked really confused to this idea. 

“Yeah?” he chuckled getting further down the hall.

“What are you doing?” I asked further.

“Giving you the VIP treatment.” Dan winked as he approached my door.

“SEE! STILL THE GROUPIE IDEA!” I laughed shaking my head.

“Shut up, my goodness! Totally not a groupie thing, you said it yourself!” Dan shook his head as he pushed it open.

“Then it should be rightfully reserved for your biggest fan then!” I cracked up. Dan sighed with a crooked grin as he stopped to look at me in the middle of my room.

“It is, you are.” Dan brushed his nose against mine getting a soft giggle from me.

“I love you.” I whispered onto his lips smiling against them.

“I love you too.” Dan smiled as well whispering back.

“I missed you.” I admitted finally.

“I missed you too.” Dan snickered.

“Thank you for being my biggest fan.” I declared pecking his lips. Dan bit his bottom one as he grinned when I pulled back.

“Thank you for being mine too.” Dan smiled wider showing teeth resting his forehead against mine.

“You’re welcome.” I closed my eyes before tilting my head to kiss him. Dan laid us down for the night reminding me that it really was more to him. Never again did I let another picture or tweet keep me from knowing where I belonged with him. I really was his biggest fan, and he was mine.


End file.
